The Math of Monsters: A Manifesto on the Men Who Break Women
The statistics say 1 in 3 women will experience sexual violence. Every woman knows a victim. Yet, if you ask 100 men, not one knows a rapist. This is the uncomfortable, violent math of our society.
Masculinity
The Math of Monsters: A Manifesto on the Men Who Break Women
By MoAfrika Skotch Ntilane — 21 December 202
The Invisible War
There is a war happening in this country. It is not fought with tanks or fighter jets. It is a quiet war. It is a war fought in bedrooms, in backseats of cars, in offices after hours, and in the trusted spaces of family homes. The casualties are walking among us every day.
I write this as a father. I write this as a man standing at the gates of a society that seems determined to hunt what it should be protecting. When you look at the life of the Girl Child in South Africa, you are looking at a life lived under siege.
The Impossible Mathematics
If you gather a group of women in a room, any room in South Africa... and you ask a simple question: "Raise your hand if you have been sexually violated, harassed, touched without consent, or lived in terror of a man." The result is always the same. A forest of hands rises.
Now, take that same magnifying glass and turn it onto the men. Gather one hundred men and ask them: "Raise your hand if you know a rapist. Raise your hand if one of your friends is a predator." Silence. Absolute, deafening silence.
If nearly every woman has been harmed, but no man knows a perpetrator, where are these men coming from? The math is impossible unless we accept a terrifying truth: Men are lying. We are lying to ourselves, and we are lying to each other.
The Cult of the 'Good Man'
I used to call myself a good man. I think most of us do. We pay our taxes. We provide for our families. We don't hit women. We don't catcall. We think that is enough. But the "Good Man" is the greatest ally of the predator. The "Good Man" is the silence that allows the violence to continue.
The Call to Action
To the men reading this: Stop protecting them. Just stop. If your friend is abusive, cut him off. If your cousin is a creep, tell him. If you see something happening at a club, intervene. Put your body between the predator and the prey. We need to make it socially expensive to be a predator.
Kill the monster. Or admit that you are one.
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